If you follow me, you will know recently I decided to sit back from my private practice to focus on an opportunity within the NHS and to dedicate my website, for now at least to my other passion which is writing.
Where would I be without my thought downloads at the end of the day?!?! I dread to think. Putting pen to paper really helps me make sense of the crazy, make sense of my present and gives me direction for the future.
2020 was totally going to be my year, I was getting married, turning 40, going to travel with the family and just live; I even went to see a Shamen who held a release ceremony and I was going to let go of all fear and live with faith, courage, determination and to experience more adventure and joy in my every day…. Let’s take a little look how its gone so far….
1st January 2020 I watched my Dad die of Pneumonia, he should never of caught it, the hospital had no Doctors all over Christmas and although my Dad was not fighting fit there was negligence. He went in with a broken hip and never come out. I spent 12 hours watching the man I loved the most, the hero throughout my life take his last breaths and the pain of that was and is debilitating. On the 10th January we were given 4 weeks notice to rehouse our family, a family of 8! We buy a caravan thinking we are going to have to live in it as our only other option was my partners 3 bed semi. We move in, decide to stay and then the whole world shuts down, Darren has a health crisis, I can’t marry Darren the same year I bury my Dad and it was cancelled anyway, and there was certainly not to be any elaborate celebrations for my 40th and to top it off I just escaped a near death car accident on the M25! Everywhere I look there are reasons to be scared, to be angry, to not play in the game of life anymore but, I am a Mother, and by nature find it almost impossible to quit something once I have started if there is any other way.
I felt the need to be transparent with how I was feeling, lost, just stunned, like a rabbit in headlights no idea what to do, normal things you may have to offset the pain of loss were and are not readily available, my intention which I pride myself of living from seemed to have gone completely tits up. What could I say? What could I do? Where is my place? What is my purpose?
These are the questions I am having to come from now, losing my Dad, turning 40 and going through global lock down has left me needing to take a pause before I decide what path is the one my heart takes me too, it seems harder to hear when there is so much energetic noise around me.
I have been working with people for long enough to know when it is time to cut back and regroup and that is what I am doing. I have lost my mojo if you like, I have lost my why, my direction, my anchor and I have to take a break from pushing forward to really deciding on what new adventure awaits me now, when everything is different, when nothing will ever be the same not just for me losing my Dad, becoming 40 but for the world we live in, the world our children live in. A new plan of action is required and an upgrade in super hero warrior women powers are in order!
I wonder how many can relate to this now, I wonder if you will share? I always believe together we rise, together we’re strong. The the world needs us now, hearts and minds open and ready for challenges and change, the hero’s journey always starts with us, the individual, the world we live in starts with us. I figure its the same game of life, just a different level with different challenges but also different superpowers I’m just in the process of discovering mine.
I would love to share my journey with you and thank you for reading a little soul splurge from myself. I have always loved writing and have decided to use this as one of my superpowers to rediscover who I am NOW. In this different landscape, to rediscover my purpose and my passion as a human being alive at a very interesting time in history. I love to journal, and I also don’t want my past clients or followers to think I have disappeared so I will share as I go until I decide on what next for Rebecca McQueen Health Coach
Wish us all luck on this level of being human!
Loads of love and positive vibes from my heart to yours